Emo Corner: Oh god, not YOU!
by WilderCapall
Summary: Someone who drives me even crazier than Chazz has hijacked my corner, but he's going to have to share it with a moody Kaiser!  Double issue involving talkingfrogs and me as a shrink!  MAJOR crack and OOCness.


Well, Emo Corner four's FINALLY done, so I guess I'll let you guys check it out. Aren't I wonderful?

This installment of Emo Corner requested by Diapers. Here's your bishie, girl, but he's sharing the limelight with mine.

**Disclaimer:** Kaiserin does not own GX, or else this insanity would be badly drawn and abysmally animated into the series and the world as we know it would come to an end.

**Warning:** OOCness. MAJOR OOCness…and this is stupid and random; sue me.

**Emo Corner: Oh god, not YOU!**

"No!" I yelled. "No WAY! I will live with Zane, somewhat tolerate Bastion, and accept Chazz as an inevitablilty, but you, _YOU_, are where I draw the frickin' line!"

"But, but…I have issues," he complained.

"Take it to a fangirl, pretty-boy; I still don't like you."

"Emma…" Syrus whined. "Jaden's being a creepy demon thign again…and I found more yaoi…and Chazz wants to murder me…can I use your corner?"

"If you can eject Phoenix…" I muttered.

"Alexis is moping and following me…"

"You _have_ no problems, canon-Sue!" I screamed. "GO AWAY!"

"My dad was murdered and 4kids said he 'disappeared'," Aster said.

"Look, no offense, but that's really not my problem,"I said.

"I don't even know if I _have_ a dad," said Zane. "I mean, what kind of parent sends a nine-year-old to the Himalayas to play card games?"

"I have no idea," I said. "Can you get him out of here?"

"_I'm_ gonna die and 4kids is gonna say some crap about the Shadow Realm," said Aster.

"Perhaps yes," said Zane, "but _you_ don't wander around the Dark World for days in extreme pain before being in and losing an extremely stressful—not to mention painful—duel, only to be giving Jaden a pep talk five seconds before dying."

"Do I have to be a shrink for you two to get you to leave?" I demanded.

"_Yes_," they both said, subsequently each glaring at the other for stealing his line.

I headwalled.

"Fine," I sighed. "Phoenix! Get off my couch!" He sat on the floor.

"I am a world-class—" he began.

"Shut up! I have the talking frog!" I screamed, waving a ceramic frog in his face. "Nobody talks without the frog, got it!?"

Both duelists nodded, admittedly reluctantly.

Zane gave me a look, clearly saying, "Hand over the frog and nobody gets hurt." I pointedly ignored him.

"So, Kaiser, I already know _you've _got problems, but last time you were here, it was about fanfiction, correct?"

"So am—"

"SHUT UP PHOENIX! I HAVE THE FROG!"

He cowered before the power of the frog. Zane looked at me, annoyed.

"So Zane," I said. "What _is_ your problem this time?"

He gave me another look and stared pointedly at the ceramic frog.

"Oh right," I said. "By the way, the frog rule doesn't apply to me; I still get to talk." I handed Zane the frog.

"I hate you so much right now," he muttered.

"I know," I said. "Natural reaction. So what brings you here?"

"Fanfiction, death, jerk trying to settle an ancient fued by re-kilkling me…and Cyber End's pissed at me because Sy's got a hold of my deck, or he will in a week, anyway," Zane rattled off.

"Wow. You do have issues," I said. "Let's start with the fanfics. Badly done yaoi? OOCness?"

"Those and overblown, OOC, predictable, sappy Royals."

I winced.

"Ouch. Those are killer."

"Tell me about it."

"WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?" Alexis screamed outside.

"BEAT IT, SUE!" I screamed back. "So…the death thing is pretty self-explanatory…by the way, if you _ever_ go to the Underground again, I am dragging you out by the collar of whatever it is you're wearing, even if I choke you in the process."

"That's very comforting," he said sarcastically.

"It should be; that place is what killed you.

"…shut up."

"All right, give me the frog," I said, holding out my hand. Zane glared at me resentfully. "Oh right, the fued thingy. Well, the ep's tomorrow; what do you want _me_ to do about it? You're already hiding out at my house half the time. Now hand over the frog." He did so reluctantly.

"Okay. So…I guess it's your turn," I said to Aster. "Think fast!" I yelled, chucking the ceramic frog at his head. He barely managed to stop it from braining him.

"HEY!"

"Shut up and angst so I can get you the smuck outta here."

"I'm not like _him_," Aster said, jerking his head in Zane's direction. "I can't just turn on angst."

Zane looked like he sincerely wanted the throttle Aster at that particular moment.

Part of that message was that he was actually attempting to throttle Aster. Now, three months ago I would have allowed this in a second, but I now have a friend who likes Aster—and since the stuff in the Dark World even I don't despise him anymore—so I was forced to stop the Kaiser from committing murder.

"Fanfiction scares me!" screamed Aster. I had succeeded, but not before Zane had effectively terrified him. Apparently, this induced screaming about fanfiction. I would have to remember that.

"Can you elaborate on that?" I asked.

His gaze flickered to the older duelist, who clearly still had murder on his mind.

I read between the lines.

"Ohhh…I get it," I said, wincing. "Well, this is awkward…"

"Why am I always the uke?" Aster whined.

"Oh, shut up," I snapped, snatching the talking-frog. You're more of a pretty-boy than I told Chazz he was last issue, as pointed out by most yaoi writers, especially one of a pairing including your manager."

Aster bagan pouting.

"He wants to blow up the sun now, by the way. And Zane…you are a terrible shrink."

"Like you're any better!" Zane yelled.

"He wants to _WHAT!?!?!?_" Aster shrieked. "SARINA! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE STRAIGHTJACKET?!?!?"

And thus he ran, screaming about stupid phobias, from my emo corner, which Zane promptly reclaimed.

"Aw, smuck, not again," I muttered.

**END**

Yes in fact I DO have issues. Thanks for noticing. Review please!


End file.
